From the moment Anna entered our home, I was filled with a love for her that I had never felt. She was immediately my daughter. Anyone who has met her knows that she is an easy little girl to love. Her smile lights up the room and she has way too many charming skills for an 18-month-old. But the love I had for Anna was much deeper than I was ever expecting. When Anna came to our home what she needed were parents. God knew this, and He immediately filled me with a fatherly love for her that could have only come from Him. I wanted nothing more than to care for her, to teach her how to live, and to watch her grow.
The thought that God loves us with a love greater than what I feel for Anna has brought me to worship countless times. He looked down, saw me lost as an orphan, brought me into His kingdom, and desires nothing more but to care for me, guide my life, and watch me grow more into His image. That is worthy of worship.
The prayer I pray most for Anna is from Psalm 27:4:
“One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.”
Within the first few days I was reminded that as a parent I would mess up…a lot. As I feared how much my mistakes would affect my children, I was brought peace by God’s faithfulness. God remains faithful in my failures…far more faithful than I am. I pray that He leads me and that His grace gives me strength. I pray that Anna knows that He is strong, not me. I pray above all else that she would dwell in His house and see His beauty.
This Friday is Anna’s six month court date. Due to some specific circumstances, there is a large chance that Anna might be leaving our family earlier than we thought. Though Lane and I know Anna most likely will not be with us forever, the thought of losing our foster daughter right now is unbearable. We’re absolutely terrified for personal reasons, but those issues are what we signed up for. But we aren’t ready to lose a ministry with Anna or her mom. From everything we know about the situation, we feel strongly that leaving now is not what is best for Anna. Because of that, we need your prayers.
My prayer life is often something that I play things safe in. I often hesitantly mention things I want to God and quickly follow up by assuring Him that I trust Him whatever happens. Scripture is clear that God desires us to ask for the longings of our heart. Lane and I know that it will be a miracle if Anna stays with us for more time. But we also know that He is more than capable of doing this. So this week we beg that God gives us more time with our foster daughter. Please pray with us.
“The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
He utters His voice, the earth melts.” (Psalm 46:6)