Somewhere deep down I know that I do have faith in prayer. Unfortunately, I often don’t live in that faith. A much bigger part of me wants to control everything going on around me. I fully trust that God is leading my life overall. I pray daily that He guides my worship of Him, my marriage, and my ministry. I desperately hope that God is guiding every area of my life in some general distant way, but when it comes to specific healing, provision, or counseling needed, I try hard to take the reins. Maybe that is due to fear of what it means if God doesn’t give me things I ask, or maybe it is because I want the credit when things go the right way. Whatever the reason, I know that God desires His sons and daughters to ask, plead, and beg for His help, and as shameful as it is to admit, it is rare that I find myself on my knees with a specific request.
” This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14
I am thankful that God has, for so many years now, given me a general faith and trust in His will and guidance for my life. But my prayer life must grow. Through this season of fostering, everything is far beyond my control. Lack of control has never hit home as much as when it is about the life of the little girl that I see as my daughter. I have had to learn how to beg God to move in power. I have had to learn how to live by His Spirit, not my control. I have forced myself to often set aside time that is focused on praying for Anna Lee. I have forced myself to ask more and more people to pray alongside us. With the help of y’all and the power of prayer, God has been constantly teaching me both His goodness and the power that prayer has.
Last week our prayers were answered beyond what we could have even hoped. Anna Lee’s mom decided to relinquish her rights. Her dad also made clear to his lawyer that he would not pursue custody. This means that sometime in the next few months, Anna Lee will most likely be officially adopted into our family.
Prayers are still needed. Last week was an unimaginably difficult week for Anna Lee’s mom. Whether it was the best decision or not, there is absolutely no easy way to process relinquishing rights of your child that you love more than anything in the world. Pray that God gives her peace in her decision, and that she knows exactly where that peace comes from. Pray that God continues to show us how to point the people involved in this case to the truth of who He is and how His gospel has changed our lives.
Going forward, there are still plenty of steps and hurdles. Sometime in the next couple of months, Anna Lee’s placement in our home will switch from fostering to fostering to adopt. This will then be a period that family members can still come forward if they have interest in adopting Anna Lee. So, nothing is final, but last week’s decisions are absolutely worth celebrating. Thank y’all so much for constantly praying and checking in on Lane and me.